Steve & Jen's 10-Point Guide to Parenting

Sure, we have no idea what we’re talking about, but when has that ever stopped us?

This, we hope, will cover about everything we’ll ever need to say to our kids. (Steve—AKA HusbandMan—will elaborate on his, ahem, singular take on parenting in a guest post soon.)

1. Eat this.

2. Don’t eat that.

3. Let’s hug!

4. Knock it off!

5. You’re fine.

6. Yes, you can.

7. Don’t do that.

8. Take that X out of your Y!

9. I love you!

10. [variable]

So—all you actual, experienced, honest-to-god parents out there: Have we missed anything? #10 is supposed to cover everything else. What would be your top suggestion for that slot?

8 Replies to “Steve & Jen's 10-Point Guide to Parenting”

  1. Okay, so I am not a parent, but I have spent my time with a good number of them and babysat more than anyone should and I do have to ask if the crucial if/then clause needs to be in the list — as in: “if you don’t X then I will Y” or “if you X then you will Y”…

  2. My top 3:

    “Did you hear what I said?”
    “What’s going on up there?”
    “Do you want to X? Then you have to Y first.”

  3. And never forget that children are geniuses at playing you off each other, so there’s always the Checking First question:
    “What did your father/mother say?”

    And the fobbing off corellary:
    “Go ask your father/mother.”

    Oh, and anything you ever needed to know about parenting : It’s in the Calvin and Hobbes books. Get yourself a set.

  4. 11. The previous 10 items may, at the parent’s discretion be augmented by adding “NOW” at the end.

  5. These are all awesome. I can picture it now: I’m going to sit on the couch with a glass of wine and Calvin & Hobbes, and when The Kid asks me something, I’ll say: “Go ask your father.”

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